As the busyness comes to a boil and we are finishing up our preparations for Christmas, likely we are doing so with a heaviness in our hearts...a silent sorrow for the burdens we are carrying in our lives. The unfulfilled or shattered dreams; the pain of our husband's choices - possibly his rejection of us; an unsure future; a long road ahead of us; desiring to provide the best for our children but feeling limited in our ability to do so; wanting to protect them from the evil we know is out there but knowing that we cannot completely protect them - instead realilizng that preparing them for their life is the best we can do - and try to find joy along the way.
My heart is turning to Mary and pondering on what she must have experienced. This woman lived a virtuous life, desiring to live according to God's teachings. I'm sure she had dreams of what her life would be like...who would she marry, how would he propose, what would her children be like? The dreams of most young women.
And then the angel came...
How did that message he brought change her life? Did she struggle to let go of her plans, her dreams? Did she fear the road she had to walk?
At what point did she surrender her will and say to her Father in Heaven, " I can't do this. This is too much! I need Thy help!", recognizing that she HAD to rely on God and TRUST Him?
How did she feel when Joseph initially chose to not marry her? Did she question her worth? Did she wrestle with feeling rejected and alone...not good enough for Joseph?
Now I am not trying to imply that Joseph's choice is AT ALL the same as our husbands who wrestle with addiction. Instead I am looking at Mary's possible feelings about it. Feeling rejected and abandoned is what it is. It doesn't mean that is what Joseph actually intended to do, but if she FELT that way, even though she was pure and righteous....how did she deal with that? How many tears were shed asking God to comfort her heart? I believe the only way she would have made it through that was by recognizing, believing in, and trusting God's love for her.
And what about the reaction of others? Did people believe her? How many people shunned her because they just didn't understand? How was she shamed? She didn't ask for this in her life, and she didn't do anything wrong. Yet there she was, unwed and pregnant. Did she feel her life had become unmanageable? Were her character weaknesses brought out in the open by others pointing fingers (or by her own mind telling herself that she was not good enough for the calling she had been given)? Did people who DID believe that the Child was to be the Son of God doubt her and question "why her? How could God choose her?" Or did she receive support all around her from people who truly knew her, giving her strength and encouragement that she COULD do this, that she was strong and worthy and capable of doing hard things? Did she have a strong support circle?
And then when it came time for the trip to Bethlehem...was she frantically busy trying to get last minute preparations done, exhausted at the end of her pregnancy? How long did she labour? How did she feel having to face this birth without her mother? Without the rest of her support circle, other than Joseph? Was he supportive? How hard would that have been for him?
She gave us her dreams. She sacrificed in more ways than we can imagine, but also in many ways we can imagine...in ways we can understand. ..a little bit.
Today, I am grateful for Mary. To me she is the epitome of courage, strength and surrendering to God. I admire her greatly.
As we hurry around with our last minute preparations for Christmas, may we take a moment to remember the woman who prepared to bring forth our greatest gift...our Savior.
God bless Mary and all strong and courageous women (ok, and men too 😉) who are striving to live their best life according to God's will and purposes...women who CAN do hard things!
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