Obi Wan, you're our only hope!

I'm having visions of Princess Laya pleading for help from the wise Obi Wan Kenobi as she faces possible destruction of her beloved people. I can relate.

I have put so much trust in our counsellor. Since therapy is the only consistent thing my husband has been doing, I have felt like our counsellor has been our life line. He has responded in times of crises (outside of office hours), he has set his client schedule based on what is most convenient for us, he has come to our home, had us in his home for sessions, spent hours on the phone talking us through disasters, built my confidence in myself and my worth.

He has given me hope.

When my husband has shown almost imperceivable indication of progress or change, our counsellor has given me things to hold on to for survival.

He has been my Obi Wan.

And now he is closing his practice, and we are on our own. When he called me to tell me, it was as though he said, "your husband has been taught and trained in the ways of the Jedi (ie. recovery). The force is within him. It is now up to him to learn to use it...or face destruction."

Great.

I have taken my hope out of my husband's hands a long time ago, and placed it completely in the hands of our therapist. Grateful that he was even willing to go to counseling so frequently, I held on to the hope that maybe one of the upcoming sessions would be THE ONE that made the difference. And since that ship is sailing away in a couple of weeks, I am now wondering where I am to put the remaining fumes of my hope. I'm not giving it back to my husband to take care of. That would just be silly. But I'm not ready to let it disappear.

Without hope I have nothing. I cannot let it dissolve before my eyes.

And so I see that having no other earthly source to put my hope in at this point, I must give it all and completely to God. When other sources cease to make me/him/us whole (borrowed from the beautiful hymn "Where Can I Turn For Peace?"), I can turn to the One who is called the Hope of Israel. I place my hope in the hands that created the universe, and created me and my husband. Hope in the wisdom of an all knowing God whose timing is always perfect (so I've been told). Hope in the God of miracles.

Obi Wan is NOT my only hope!

I love the words of this hymn "Jesus, Savior, Pilot Me"
"Jesus, Savior, pilot me over life's tempestuous sea;
Unknown waves before me roll, hiding rock and treacherous shoal.
Chart and compass came from thee: Jesus, Savior, pilot me,

"As a mother stills her child, Thou canst hush the ocean wild;
Boist'rous waves obey thy will when thou say'st to them, "Be still!"
Wondrous Sov'reign of the sea, Jesus, Savior, pilot me.

"When at last I near the shore, and the fearful breakers roar
'Twixt me and the peaceful rest, then, while leaning on thy breast,
May I hear thee say to me, "Fear not: I will pilot thee."

And I may or may not still wish that Yoda will appear!